Why (I think) Russian women wear panty hose

Warning - this blog is highly frivolous.

Yesterday, I finally got tickets to visit to Armory museum where the thrones, gifts, jewelry and carriages from the Tsars are housed. I am about to link together this visit to the Armory and pantyhose, so hang with me.

Let me start by saying I am huge admirer of "important jewelry." However, at the Armory, it's impossible not to be taken aback by the sheer gaudiness of the collection--huge 100 ct. emeralds in a bible cover, gold covered carriages, horse harnesses bedecked in silver and pearl. All fun, but a little over the top. Which made me think about how Muscovite women dress.

Sorry, but I need a quick history detour here. Back in the 17th & 18th centuries, Peter the Great dragged Russia out of the medieval times to such an extent that by his death in 1725, Russia was considered a leading eastern European state. He wouldn't allow anyone in court to wear anything but Westernized dress.

But of course, as shown in the Armory clothing collection, this was the Russian interpretation of the latest French fashions. So... 150,000 pearls are sewn on a dress and gold thread is on the 15m long train and the lace took five years to spin in Brugge, etc, etc. You get the idea. Fast forward to 2009.

Throughout the cold winter months, I was convinced the pantyhose/thong undergarment torture combo was to keep warm. If you have to wear long johns, why not tights which are far prettier? I know about the thongs based on my locker room experiences, so trust me on this one.

But the weather is now scorching and humid and the tights have morphed into pantyhose. Now I haven't voluntarily worn pantyhose since 1991 when I moved to California. It's hot. It's itchy and frankly, the nude variety is really dated. So why all the panty hose here?

My current theory is that Russian fashionistas, like their Tsarina sisters of bygone eras, like a certain line, a certain over the top interpretation on the current fashion. A trip, short cut of skirt or trim trouser and frankly, visible panty lines will simply not do. And you've got to wear something on your feet to keep one's four-inch stilletos from forming blisters. So VOILA! Nude pantyhose on all the ladies from young to old, from pencil skirts to skintight jeans.

Having worn pantyhose in a hot NYC, I can appreciate the sacrifice it takes and I'm sure the Russian men sincerely appreciate the effort.